okay

wahhh ok tensing up in my bed i mean like clenching my fists and bringing my arms and legs close into me because i read about charlotte and kats relationship and how charlottes roommate thinks theyre dating even though charlotte likes boys or whatever. and i just have so much sexual? frustration because i want a friend like that like Uufidsoajfska;jfsfalskdj I WANT A FRIEND SO CLOSE PEOPLE THINK WERE DATING IM SO CONFLICTED AND UREERRGGG kjfsdlaf;ew 

i literally cant

i mean i have jen

and we’re basically going out - by which i mean we love eachother were not embarassed about anything around/ about each other/ our selves

but she doesnt exactly live near me and i have to worry about others being jealous that im closer with her or something I D E K.

okay but i wish kat was my friend 

wow im just rlly jealous of charlotte okay im mean bye

ps no one knows about me also liking girls so i cant tell anyone/ talk about it/ bring it up or like whatever ok that will be another post

except Annie who i told but im afraid to talk to her not about this but about anything like even asking her what the hw was idk im horrified of being annoying 

uhhh my lifeee

woo christmas marks one year of me actually remembering the past year pretty clearly and i hated my self more than ever and i actually started the whole not eating thing ew yay life

last night i went to a party (!!) with jen [from camp] it wasnt her party but it was one of her friend’s, and it wasnt like crazy like there wasnt any drinking or anything like that but we played spin the bottle and i kissed 5 guys

this literally isnt even me

like before this summer i thought i would ever say a swear word in my life and now look at me go im growing up so fast omg ;’]

so this is like a super personal blogy blog por que my other one which is personal too- i just feel weird like saying really personal stuff on because i a few people i know follow me and theyre close and i trust them and whatnot but idek man, im just doing this because i want to actually say what im thinking yknow 

k 

peace out

no followers holler at me boiz

i just remembered my password so get me a prize

I created this just so i can say just what and how im feeling.

I don’t want the whole world world to know so i better talk about it on the internet.

i just dont want anyone i know to know who I am. makes sense right. 

didnt think so.

duces.

this has been my first post